Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
