I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im six kinds of drunk right now
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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