Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
