Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
