I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We are all done wearing pants today
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
