youre lurking in front of me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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