Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Im part way to drunk.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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