Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
