we have officially lost it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
