i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
vagina is talking i cant
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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