I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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