Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
