That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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