Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
