hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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