everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
