I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
