btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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