I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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