nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
