Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
