they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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