Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
