I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
