he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
