just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
