rhymes with "ouble enetration"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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