you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
