at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
