Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
