every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
