I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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