i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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