What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
