Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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