would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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