just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
