uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
