I think i peed on brittanys purse
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
