We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
