So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
