i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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