My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
