pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
