Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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