He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
