I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
