A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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