Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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