walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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