Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
