hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
